i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize