Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
