Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize