My hand turned me down
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
