There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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