Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
