we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
