Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
