its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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