i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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