I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
