You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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