you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I lost the right to judge tonight
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
