the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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