he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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