you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
operation harelip BJ is a go
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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