I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
All I want is dick and wine.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
