I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
