between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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