So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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