he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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