The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
