My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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