dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
