we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just cropdusted the office
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
