her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
