I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This is the high leading the old right now
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
