OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
