Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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