what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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