I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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