I love black thongs
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
