If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
