are you still at the devil's house?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
