I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
