this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
