You smell like a Billy Joel song
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
