If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
