were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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