I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
