just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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