Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
