i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We just shotgunned beers for America
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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