Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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