Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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