Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
