I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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