I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Randomize
