i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
