They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
