Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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