Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
