Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
